Sorry, I have to resurrect this thread. I never figured it out and I'm just now coming back to it.

Again--as it is--the texture is applied directly to the surface pane you see. Is there a way to project it so that it doesn't show the distortions created during modeling?

Acid's suggestion sounds promising, but I could use a little more guidance and Maya Help isn't helping because I don't know enough about what I'm looking for.

Could I talk someone into giving me a little more direction?