try shoving the toothpick in your knob hole and claim that the toothpick company never stated that it couldnt be used for self exploration.
Oh and dont forget to break it off. get way up in there with it too, you want surgery. It increases the claim.
<html><font size=2>
<font color="blue">
And after calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning,
E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose.
--TOOL, 10,000 Days---
</font></pre>
</html>