well, after much pain and suffering... I found some settings that work fairly well:
Material: Michael’s Chrome
Type – Phong
Common Material Attributes:
Color - pure black
Transparency - pure black
Ambient Color – pure white
Incandescence – dark grey
Bump mapping – water2
Diffuse – 0.800
Translucence – 0.000
Translucence Depth – 0.500
Translucence Focus – 0.500
Specular Shading:
Cosine Power – 2.000
Specular Color – pure white
Reflectivity – 2.000
Reflected Color – pure black
Bump map settings:
Number of waves - 32
Wave time - 1.000
Wave velocity - 0.421
Wave amplitude 1.000
Fast – checked
Wave frequency – 4.000
Sub wave frequency – 0.125
Smoothness – 2.438
Wind UV 1.000 0.000
"I'd call that beastial masochistic necrophilia, but that would be like beating a dead horse."