I think you really need to convay camera movements as well as some quick one line notes in the storyboard, otherwise it ends up looking stale and with no direction, sort of like what youve got, not sounding too harsh, as looking at it I dont know what your convaying/aiming at with the story.

Hence whats the point of making a storyborad if you dont bring the story over as at the moment it dosent make much sense.