Maya Training

Introduction to Hard Surface Modeling

Maya Training

Interiors and Furniture Vol 1 & 2 - Modeling & Cloth

Maya Training

Shading, Lighting and Rendering the Bedroom in MR

Maya Training

Robot volume one - Modeling with animation in mind

Maya Training

Spach-Alspaugh House the complete courseware

Maya Training

Burt The Cartoon Dinosaur Vol 01 - Modeling

New Maya Training

Batman by Jason Edwards
You are here > Home > SimplyMaya Community Forums

Welcome to Simply Maya

Please Sign in or Sign up for an account

Member Login

Lost your password?

Not a member yet? Sign Up!

Old 19-12-2002, 09:13 AM   #1
Registered User
el-ignoramus's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 87
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default So funny, I had to share it :D

Hey guyz, I found that one in a site but I lost the link

Hope you like it.

btw it's a true paper submitted by students


Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"?

Well, here's a prime example offered by an English professor at an

American University.

"Today we will experiment with a new form of composition called the

tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the

person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then

write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the

first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The

first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth.

Remember to reread what has been written each time in order to keep the

story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking and anything you wish

to say must be written on the paper. The story is over when both agree a

conclusion has been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of my English students:

Rebecca -last name deleted, and Gary - last name deleted.



(first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The

camomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now

reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he

liked camomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind

off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about

him too much her asthma started acting up again. So camomile was out of

the question.


(second paragraph by Gary)

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron

now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about

than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with

whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to

Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator "Polar

orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could

sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a

hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent

him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.



He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not before he felt

one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who

had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its

pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.

"Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,"

Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously

excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her

youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no

newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of

innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one

lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.



Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.

Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the

first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who

pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress

had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were

determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage

of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough

firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they

swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile

entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret Mobile

submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the

inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and

85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference

table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em

out of the sky!"



This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My

writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.



Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at

writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have

camomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F***ING TEA??? Oh no, I'm

an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."















Get f****d.



Eat s**t.






Go drink some tea - whore.

************************************************** ***********


A+ - I really liked this one.
I don't suffer from stress, I'm a carrier.
el-ignoramus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-12-2002, 11:14 AM   #2
mumbojumbo_13's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: The Land Down Under
Posts: 1,047
Thanks: 0
Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts

Thanks for wasting your time reading this line.
mumbojumbo_13 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-12-2002, 11:35 AM   #3
undseth's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 1,135
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

Read it before, but it was worth reading it again.
I do not support Bush! Nor Saddam! Long live UN!
undseth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-12-2002, 01:07 AM   #4
Registered User
Tolkien's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: California
Posts: 52
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

ROFLMAO!!! That was great!
Arguing on the internet is like running in the Special Olympics, even if you win your still retarded.
Tolkien is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-12-2002, 01:18 AM   #5
3djoe's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: CT USA
Posts: 566
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

I thought is was great

My Wife did not
Never Do Today What You Can Put Off Till Tomorrow..
My New Site
3djoe is offline   Reply With Quote

A little bit about who we are
Links you might find useful
Catch up with SimplyMaya
SimplyMaya specialises in Maya tutorials. We offer over 1,000 individual Maya training videos, ranging from basic Maya tutorials through to intermediate Maya tutorials. Our tutorials are created by instructors with industry experience and are designed to get you up and running in Maya quickly without making it seem like hard work.

Copyright © 1999-2015 SimplyMaya - vBulletin® Copyright © 2000-2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.