Introduction to Maya - Rendering in Arnold
This course will look at the fundamentals of rendering in Arnold. We'll go through the different light types available, cameras, shaders, Arnold's render settings and finally how to split an image into render passes (AOV's), before we then reassemble it i
# 1 28-01-2004 , 04:23 AM
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Abit of fun

(Sorry about the lenght)

Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is a boxing ring square?

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

Why is it that to stop Windows 95, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you
turn down the volume on the radio?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing
liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

If you throw a cat out of a car window, does it become kitty litter?

If you choke a Smurf, what colour does it turn?

Is it ok to use the AM radio after noon?

What do chickens think we taste like?

What do people in China call their good plates?

What do you call a male ladybird?

What hair colour do they put on the driver’s licence of a bald
man?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for a lethal injection?

Why do they call it a pair of pants, but only one bra?

Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't
drink and drive?

Why isn’t phonetic spelt the way it sounds?

Why are there interstates in Hawaii?

Why are there floatation devices in the seats of airplanes instead
of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations if smoking is prohibited?

Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplough get to work?

If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why does it
have locks on the doors?

You know that indestructible black box used on airplanes? Why
don’t they make the whole plane out of the stuff?

If a fire fighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what
does a freedom fighter fight?

If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?

If a cow laughs, does milk come out her nose?

If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn the
headlights on, what happens?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called
shipment, but when you transport something by ship it’s called
cargo?

Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?

What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of a plane?

Why are they called apartments if they’re all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of
Progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?


Yeah, but no but yeah but no....
# 2 28-01-2004 , 05:34 AM
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Couldnt stop laughing,,Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?
\
What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of a plane?
He would yeall,, MMMmmmeeeeeeee!!! user added image

# 3 28-01-2004 , 06:57 AM
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this is about the funniest thing I have ever read. Thankyou.

in keeping with the anti-fanboy movement... >
I think this needs changed IMHO..

“If you throw a cat out of a car window, does it become kitty litter? “

I think is better like :

If you throw a cat out of a car window, does that mean your guilty of kitty littering?

Disclaimer
Note: my cat sits on my lap as I write this. No animals were harmed in anyway.

# 4 28-01-2004 , 07:22 AM
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Originally posted by Pony

Disclaimer
Note: my cat sits on my lap as I write this. No animals were harmed in anyway.

mwaahh ahhh ahhhhhhahh
user added image user added image

# 5 28-01-2004 , 02:29 PM
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Why is it that water exists when it isnt anything?

answer that!:bgreen: :bgreen: :bgreen: :bgreen: :bgreen: :bgreen: :bgreen: :bgreen:

# 6 28-01-2004 , 03:54 PM
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erm that really doesnt make sense...... water is something! unless I'm mistaken?


Technical Director - Framestore

Currently working on: Your Highness

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# 7 28-01-2004 , 06:17 PM
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H+2+0= Water


Yeah, but no but yeah but no....
# 8 28-01-2004 , 08:13 PM
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most of the things on the list are easily explained anyway. And are only misinterpreted by people who dont know better... i was thinking of writing a reply to about %95 of them as to how it would then not be a contradiction.... But it seems im really lazy...


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# 9 29-01-2004 , 03:45 AM
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Why is it manslaughter if a woman is murdered? user added image

# 10 29-01-2004 , 05:11 PM
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so... What is the speed of Dark?

# 11 30-01-2004 , 03:10 AM
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the same as light????

# 12 30-01-2004 , 03:18 AM
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When is a chicken a vegetable.......
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.
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.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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...After you hit it on the head a few times user added image


Yeah, but no but yeah but no....
# 13 30-01-2004 , 03:29 AM
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Originally posted by z1mmnd14
When is a chicken a vegetable.......
.
.
.
.
.
...After you hit it on the head a few times user added image

Or if you chock it,,,,,Wait a sec.. that don't make scene,, never mind.user added image

# 14 31-01-2004 , 07:16 AM
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Why are there interstates in Hawaii?
lol... good one! :p

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