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Old 09-05-2008, 12:08 AM   #1
diggersworld
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Default My first animated short

Hi guys, thought I'd post my first animated short here for all to see...

YouTube Video - The Timepiece

The story is basically about this guy who has made a watch which can control time. The guy then gets dragged into the not so pleasant future, where he can either stay and be ripped apart by some strange hovering mecha, or can attempt leaping to safety in a never ending pit.

If you'd like to leave any comments about what was good, what was not so good, and how I could do certain things better in the future, then please do. I enjoy learning new techniques to advance my abilities.

Cheers guys, enjoy the short.

Digger.
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Old 09-05-2008, 04:11 AM   #2
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Thats a cute little animation especially for a first, the concept has potential. Bump up the resolution on the character and shadows(shadows flickered way too much), and the texture on the clock in the opening sequence didn't stand up well under such a close shot. There were some body dynamics, skin weight and constraint issues but my biggest issue was the flickering.
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Old 09-05-2008, 07:09 AM   #3
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I think that is does have a lot of potential, I'm not sure if this was an assignment or if you had specific objectives to reach under a time line but I think overall you are off to a great start.
There seems to be quite a few fundamentals that need some work in the piece. Secondary animation for one would help achieve a more convincing story, some depth in the textures would help that as well. The animation looked a little flat and rigid but again for the first real animation its a good start.

The sun rises and falls in the same place? That was a little confusing to me. I kind of think the intent was that he was playing with time and causing it to almost set and then come back up again which is a neat concept but if that was the intention I think you had to read a little too far into it.

The introduction with the view inside the watch was flat. The hands seems to have no depth at all which took away from the overall piece I think. And like what was already said the texture flashing is distracting as well as some of the shadows.

Overall though great start, and keep at it!
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Old 09-05-2008, 01:13 PM   #4
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Hey guys, great comments so far, I completely agree with the issues you've raised.

The 3D Design assignment is from my 3rd year at University but was accompanied by other modules so I was very limited to time. I don't think I spent much more than a week and a half on the project, shame really, because I enjoyed doing it. The assignment itself required 3 minutes of footage which is why some bits look rushed, as I was more concerned in reaching that requirement.

However, I'm planning to make animations from now on with new ideas, so please keep the comments coming in, so I can learn from my mistakes.

Cheers,

Digger.
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Old 09-05-2008, 06:35 PM   #5
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I hate when assignments are given a time requirement. That usually kills their potential out of the gate. I'd say you did rather well for the time you had to work on it and what was expected of you. Keep it up dude.

And good on you for taking the comments and crits in good fashion
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Old 15-05-2008, 12:58 PM   #6
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That sure puts my first animation short to shame. Awesome job.
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