Make sure that the MAX user is using the same version of FBX as you, its in the export option window so ask them what version they have, as this generally is the problem when it goes heywire.
Also make sure that when the guy imports he has the same scale and axis as you (and the scale in the scene file).
I had a similar problem going form maya to endorphin and back and it was the version and the scales.
Hope it helps
"No pressure, no diamonds" Thomas Carlyle