Boolean delete?
 

when i try to connect 2 polygon objects in maya with the union boolean tool, the two objects just dissapear all of a sudden.

i've tried using intersect and difference as well, but it just completely deletes itself

yea, it happens. you could try deleting history, but it probably has something to do with the geometry you're trying to perform the boolean on anyway.

so to solve this i have to....

Run the cleanup operation on both objects to ensure that there are no issues, also ensure that the 2 bits of geometry are intersecting correctly.

Get the free cartoon dog tutorial from here as it goes into this quite well.