just do the tutorials or read the doc to understand them, if u just want "insights" form others how will you really know what u are doing?
the basics; its all in te docs and people gave you great links for indepth tutorials which we all did at some point,
i dont see the sarcasm your talking about... we were all beginners at some point...
learn to take the help instead of complaining about it.

heres a bottle UV and texturing tut from those links google popped up https://www.etc.cmu.edu/bvw/fall04/uv...g_Tutorial.htm

sheeesh...