I am not sure what you are doing. This model consists of the bridge, 18 frets, and 36 of the post thingies.

I simply deleted all history, combined everything, and used the wire tool deformer to shape it. As you can see nothing is pulling apart. There is going to be some distortion which is unavoidable. I could just as easily have used a lattice.

There is also no LAG. I can move verts of the control curve as fast as I can and things move smoothly.

If you are getting LAG, and things are "flying" apart then it sounds like you have history on things, or have things grouped and are getting multiply translations.