Life is pretty mean and everyone gets into a dark place at times. Just we are taught to keep it quiet instead of supporting each other. The warfare is in your mind, its how you think and feel. Thats where the big struggles of life are. Ever see The Last Samurai? The righthand man to the rebel leader? Guy is trained and disciplined, he knows himself and doesnt let anything in this world get inside. In the west we arent taught this and we seem to be vulnerable to the ups and downs of life, many times striking us to the core. True or not we give it a bad meaning and take it to heart. But we all fail, every damn one of us. We seem to be so afraid of it that we avoid it and get crushed by it. Its tough but embrace it and learn from it. Its when we learn to see the truth of things and understand that just because things didnt work out its not the end. Learn from it, become better. fail a thousand times and learn and then theres success.

Keep going brudda. Know that there will always be a light in the darkness. Youve done great things and inspire others. Myself? I had nothing in life I really cared about until I got interested in 3D a few years ago. When life smashed my teeth in 2 years ago i decided to turn that hobby into a profession. I had never touched Maya, just stuff like Poser and Vue, but I loved it. I want to model and design environments, my passion. Its been a very tough 2 years. Learned alot but it seems that the more you learn the deeper it gets lol. Am coming to realise that at 59 am probably not going to ever work in 3D. But will do this until I die. I have a world in building and will be designing and creating that world in 3d. About to jump into Unreal Engine so my world can come to life.
So for those of us who wont see the dream you keep livin brother, get your dream for the rest of us and enjoy life.