Hi there Leeman. Your work is wonderfull, I have a lot of respect for it. I don't think I can comment on some of your personal problems because so far there just is not enough information to help with that.

But in your post I see a burning desire in you to get what is in your heart out in to the real world and express yourself.

You obviously understand that maya is a very powerfull tool. After all you choose to use that. In my humble personal opinion, (not telling you how to live your life just something to consider) your body is also a part of that tool we lovingly call Maya. How else are you going to tell it do the wonderful work you have so far. So my point is maybe some rest now and then at least is as needed as say deleting the construction histroy so the computer dosn't get slow on you.

BTW more personal opinion. maybe you are liking or identifying yourself with the starving and some what excentric artist. That starving and excentric artist is more of a myth than anything else about art ! There are a couple that made names for them selves but they are the exception that more confirm my point. Picoso or Warhal were great ,, and is mentioned a lot because people like strange people.. but his work pales compared to some others who were not starving and excentric. Titon, Rubense, Cezane, and Mr leonardo. Also Steven Spealberg or Mr Gorge Luccas. All of them did not fit in to that stereo type nearly as much, and thier work is far more moving emotionally over all. The same is true for modern artist. They get rest, they have other interests, they work in well lite places.

(sorry if I misspelled names)