Reflectivity is a property of materials not lights so you can't reflection link spotlights as reflections will be determined by your material attributes. The ugly hotspots you're getting are specular highlights, and these you have a very high level of control over. A specular highlight is in fact a reflection of the lightsource itself, so if you have visible light sources in a scene you need to think about the size of these specular highlights. The second thing that determines specular highlights are the type of material you're trying to mimic, if you don't get the size and brightness of a specular highlight right you won't be able to sell a material. Glossy materials like glass and plastic will have very tight specular highlights with a whitish color, whereas rougher materials like rubber or wood would have broader less bright specular highlights. You use the specular color slider to tone down specular highlights on a material, and there's very few scenarios where you work with colored specularity - metals would be one of these exceptions. The natural way to color your specular highlights would be by using colored light sources, as this is how it would occur in the real world.

The best way to wrap your head around this is to place some different objects like a porcelain mug, a glass and some plastic objects on a wood table and look at how they interact with the light. Then try to mimic what you see in Maya, keep in mind that almost all materials have some sort of specular highlights once you're looking for it. You can also control if specular highlights will occur at all on the spotlight itself by turning on/off emit specular. Just like with shadows it's usually the most natural way that one light will trigger specular highlights on a material and the other lights will be set to emit diffuse only. I can see in your render on the glass ball that you have three specular highlights, so if you leave emit specular on for just one light you'll get a better result.

You can also use specific spec lights when you want to boost specular highlights in a material by setting a light to emit specular only. If these lights hit other materials in your scene they need to be light linked.

The reason for the jagged edges would be that light bends when it goes through a refractive material, you'll see this in the real world as well if you look through thick glass. It would just be more pronounced in cg render and cause this sort of pixelation I think.