The two axes that it shows are the focus point-The point at which the light is aimed. The second is the light itself.

You can access these by pressing T or hitting Show Manipulator Tool. If you use the normal move tool then you move the whole apparatus.

Make sure that you can see the center of the grid when you create the light (unless you have interactive creation on) otherwise you won't be able to see it.

And before you render, hit 6 and then 7 in order to see a lighting preview and get the shadows how you want.

If you're in wireframe view and you hit 7 it won't show the light, so make sure you've got it in a shaded view beforehand.

As to your second question, apply a phong or blinn material to make it look shiny-In my experience Phongs are closer to plastic, while Blinns are closer to metal.