maybe play with the timing. I'd say make the camera moves more bold and dynamic. Like have the camera move quickly and then slowdown and stop on areas of focus. At present its all a bit floaty. Also maybe you could have some of the body parts move rather that just the camera. I think the main problem is, there's no area of focus. You can't really see that the camera is following the nerves. Perhaps if you have the nerves begin to grow, and then have the camera follow the nerves as they grow this might me more clear. I've read before that the camera should always follow the action, rather that precede it. I hope you understand what im getting at.