SimplyMaya Forums

Welcome to the forum, feel free to ask questions here.

Home / forum / Your Work / Finished Work / My first animated short
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Mark Forums Read

New Thread
 
Thread Tools
Old 08-05-2008, 11:08 PM   #1
diggersworld
Subscriber
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 23
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default My first animated short

Hi guys, thought I'd post my first animated short here for all to see...

YouTube Video - The Timepiece

The story is basically about this guy who has made a watch which can control time. The guy then gets dragged into the not so pleasant future, where he can either stay and be ripped apart by some strange hovering mecha, or can attempt leaping to safety in a never ending pit.

If you'd like to leave any comments about what was good, what was not so good, and how I could do certain things better in the future, then please do. I enjoy learning new techniques to advance my abilities.

Cheers guys, enjoy the short.

Digger.
diggersworld is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-05-2008, 03:11 AM   #2
Gen
Moderator
 
Gen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: South FL
Posts: 3,487
Thanks: 15
Thanked 641 Times in 564 Posts
Default

Thats a cute little animation especially for a first, the concept has potential. Bump up the resolution on the character and shadows(shadows flickered way too much), and the texture on the clock in the opening sequence didn't stand up well under such a close shot. There were some body dynamics, skin weight and constraint issues but my biggest issue was the flickering.
Gen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-05-2008, 06:09 AM   #3
alexanderH
Subscriber
 
alexanderH's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mississauga, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 450
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Default

I think that is does have a lot of potential, I'm not sure if this was an assignment or if you had specific objectives to reach under a time line but I think overall you are off to a great start.
There seems to be quite a few fundamentals that need some work in the piece. Secondary animation for one would help achieve a more convincing story, some depth in the textures would help that as well. The animation looked a little flat and rigid but again for the first real animation its a good start.

The sun rises and falls in the same place? That was a little confusing to me. I kind of think the intent was that he was playing with time and causing it to almost set and then come back up again which is a neat concept but if that was the intention I think you had to read a little too far into it.

The introduction with the view inside the watch was flat. The hands seems to have no depth at all which took away from the overall piece I think. And like what was already said the texture flashing is distracting as well as some of the shadows.

Overall though great start, and keep at it!
__________________
Peace, love and Anarchy~~~~~~~
______________________________
Wip:
iMac
Full House Project
Arch Viz Reel

My Website is Finally Back up!

“Welcome to the Internet. Where the men are men, the women are men, and the children are FBI agents.”
alexanderH is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-05-2008, 12:13 PM   #4
diggersworld
Subscriber
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 23
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default

Hey guys, great comments so far, I completely agree with the issues you've raised.

The 3D Design assignment is from my 3rd year at University but was accompanied by other modules so I was very limited to time. I don't think I spent much more than a week and a half on the project, shame really, because I enjoyed doing it. The assignment itself required 3 minutes of footage which is why some bits look rushed, as I was more concerned in reaching that requirement.

However, I'm planning to make animations from now on with new ideas, so please keep the comments coming in, so I can learn from my mistakes.

Cheers,

Digger.
diggersworld is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-05-2008, 05:35 PM   #5
alexanderH
Subscriber
 
alexanderH's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mississauga, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 450
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Default

I hate when assignments are given a time requirement. That usually kills their potential out of the gate. I'd say you did rather well for the time you had to work on it and what was expected of you. Keep it up dude.

And good on you for taking the comments and crits in good fashion
__________________
Peace, love and Anarchy~~~~~~~
______________________________
Wip:
iMac
Full House Project
Arch Viz Reel

My Website is Finally Back up!

“Welcome to the Internet. Where the men are men, the women are men, and the children are FBI agents.”
alexanderH is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-05-2008, 11:58 AM   #6
huntaer
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 58
Thanks: 1
Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts
Default

That sure puts my first animation short to shame. Awesome job.
huntaer is offline   Reply With Quote
New Thread

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Carton Love [ Short movie ] ColdWave Work In Progress 19 03-01-2011 08:55 PM

1 Month

$34

Month-to-month billing
$34/month
Unlimited access to all videos
Project files to download
Easy to cancel at anytime
 
 

3 months

$87

Billing every 3 months
$29/month
Unlimited access to all videos
Project files to download
Easy to cancel at anytime
Save $5 per month or $15 in total compared to monthly billing with this package.

12 months

$288

Billing every 12 months
$24/month
Unlimited access to all videos
Project files to download
Easy to cancel at anytime
Save $10 per month or $120 in total compared to monthly billing with this package.

Your plan will automatically renew. You can cancel at any time via your PayPal account to avoid being charged again.

You can view the FAQ on our video plans here. You can contact us directly here. By clicking one of the buttons above, you agree to our Terms and Privacy Policy.