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Old 26-08-2009, 09:39 PM   #1
redorb333
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Default SPARE A DIME

HI i I am in a contest, so here is my entry, it would be nice to have some critics, thanks



here is the link



http://www.aniboom.com/animation-vid.../Spare-a-Dime/
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Old 27-08-2009, 11:42 AM   #2
honestdom
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Quote:
Originally posted by daverave
Hi redorb333

I hope you take this as constructive comments, looks a little to flat could do with having the track and ground under it raise a bit to form a bank, the man could be move closer so we can see more of him and he would be more in the middle of the frame. The grass to the left and right forground look to much like hair. The grass in the right background looks ok. The colour red are you trying to get a old picture feel? also would put a bump map on the ground texture and last to much specularity on the mans cloathing................I hope this helps Dave

there was an animation btw.

i have to say, i was not a fan of the flickering.
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Old 27-08-2009, 12:38 PM   #3
daverave
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Sorry to bizzy looking at the still, the animation looks good most of what I said I take back, I will look closer at posts before I relpy...........Dave
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Old 27-08-2009, 11:24 PM   #4
Ataraxy
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niiice! good background details on the dolley shot!

the arm movement tho.. they are harsh.. uhm.. too robotic i mean.. or stiff in swaying back and forth. I dunno really.. the forearm has too much hang time in when its extended all the way forward...

seems like the hand comes up too high too.

Like the camera movements/angles! the low angle is... boring tho.. i dont care about his feet... speaking of which.. he has a trenchcoat..cowboy hat.. yet.. his shoes are.. slightly shiny? cant tell.. maybe not..


digging the flow of the coat tho bouncing off his legs as he walks.. looks good, makes me wanna pick your brain to get a quick idea of how u did that.


the animation to me doesn't make sense tho.


haha.. sorry >.> dont hate me


got more..

the dime.. may i suggest changing the texture of it


the animation is "cartoony" but you have a realistic texture of a real dime in the animation.. to me.. just seems it... goes against the composition of the rest



oh yeah


maybe.. come in alittle bit with the establishing shot.. because uh... the tracks! they just.. look wierd above the horizon line.. or like it's over a sharp hill.. but we know railroad tracks dont do that

cut that part out by coming in a little bit on that shot. or panning more to the right?

nice work man! keep it up, good luck on the contest!
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Old 31-08-2009, 07:56 PM   #5
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Hey, thanks for your comments, you are right the animation doesn t makes much sense, cause the contest consists of making 30 seconds of a complete video, thanks for your useful comments
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