haha I don't blame your skepticism, I shoulda posted the basemesh. I ended up using this, which is a modified version of an older basemesh. I wasn't planning on submitting an entry, so I don't mind if that makes me ineligible.
Weyu, yeah the beard was just really sloppily done with an alpha + poly painting in ZB. You're right that the pose isn't realistic, but I was trying to exaggerate it. Although his muscles wouldn't react that way, I wanted his right eye open more so that I can capture both his pain and fright.
Some Guy - No worries, this didn't take that long and I just don't usually have too long to work on this stuff so I was trying to block it out a bit early on.
[edit: oops looks like the img tags need 'http' to function afterall. and thanks, arran