First animation

# 1 11-11-2009 , 08:48 PM

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This is my first attempt at an animation from start to finish. I have a LONG way to go but this is where I am now.

Also want to say thank you to those of you on this board that helped me along the way, (especially Chirone) couldn't of done it without you!

you just have to click the play button in the box there and it should play.

https://shownd.com/pworrell/5905/Maya

Last edited by jjmacky88; 11-11-2009 at 08:53 PM.

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# 2 12-11-2009 , 03:31 AM

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Very good for first attempted.

The biggest problem I have with it is the arm animation - I think they need work all the way though. Its wired the legs are a lot better and with me its always the other way round. The first push of the button (outside the lift) - he does it with a straight arm - that would never happen. Just do the action yourself and see what your arm would do.

Second problem I have is nothing to do with the 3d side of things - its the story. I under stand the guy getting stuck in the life but why after having that much trouble in one would the guy do it as a job. A better ending is needed.

The camera work works as well (wanted to end on a positive)

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# 3 12-11-2009 , 04:36 AM

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Thanks for the reply tweet! You're right about the arms needing work, I could of definitely benefited from acting it out / looking for reference material.

As far as the story, yeah it's pretty depressing but I felt a lot of people could relate in a way. I wanted to create a story that wasn't as much about this specific person being stuck in an elevator as just show a metaphor for someone being stuck in anything (relationship, job ect.)

Originally I had at the end "sometimes you choose the path sometimes the path chooses you", to help clear it up but I was advised against it. Perhaps my story was a bit too ambitious. Do you have any ideas as how a better ending would go?

Again, thank you for the feedback if there's anything else please let me know I like to think this is how we get better!

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# 4 12-11-2009 , 04:43 AM

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I thought it was pretty great for a first animation.

Some things I noticed. The walking doesn't match the ground, you've got a bit of moonwalking going on, to put it one way. As tweetytunes mentioned, some of the body mechanics could use some work.
Also, one action does not need to be completed before the next is begun. For example, he would probably still be approaching the lift button as he lifts his hand to reach for it.
Some of the actions could be faster as well.

As for the ending, I was anticipating that the suit would give him control over the elevator... you could work that in maybe.

Speaking of anticipation, look up the 12 (I think?) principles of animation and see how many you can work into your short.

Keep up the good work!

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# 5 12-11-2009 , 10:35 AM

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I'm getting a blank page here, its just not loading :s

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# 6 12-11-2009 , 02:40 PM

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Originally posted by GecT
I'm getting a blank page here, its just not loading :s

Originally Posted by

Hey, its working for me but you can watch it here too

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5k3lFciiyM

Thanks.

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# 7 12-11-2009 , 02:49 PM

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Originally posted by stwert
I thought it was pretty great for a first animation.

Some things I noticed. The walking doesn't match the ground, you've got a bit of moonwalking going on, to put it one way. As tweetytunes mentioned, some of the body mechanics could use some work.
Also, one action does not need to be completed before the next is begun. For example, he would probably still be approaching the lift button as he lifts his hand to reach for it.
Some of the actions could be faster as well.

As for the ending, I was anticipating that the suit would give him control over the elevator... you could work that in maybe.

Speaking of anticipation, look up the 12 (I think?) principles of animation and see how many you can work into your short.

Keep up the good work!

Originally Posted by

Thanks stwert! Yeah, the walk cycle definitely needs work as well. And great point on you don't need to wait for one action to end to start another. I think maybe when you're doing this you're so focused on thinking "okay now here I want him to push the button", you don't even realize that in a real life situation a lot more is going on as that's happening.

As far as the ending and showing that he has control of the elevator I like that. I suppose I tried to imply that but it's definitely open to interpretation.

Keep them coming guys, I'm working on my next animation now so I want to make a list of things to lookout for and keep in mind!

Great stuff, thanks again stwert!

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# 8 12-11-2009 , 04:53 PM

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Not bad at all, especially for your first crack at it. There are some issues I have with the lighting, it's kinda cut and dry and not natural and mood setting. From 0:45 - 0:54, the body mechanics were weird, the flailing arms, rigid fingers, the sliding neck and there's the lack of secondary movement in general. Also, I think it could have been edited to convey the story better. Either way, it was still pretty good for a first try, good luck with the next project user added image

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# 9 12-11-2009 , 05:46 PM

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Thanks for the comments Gect! Yeah, the lighting is pretty stale overall. My computer is far from a powerhouse (read emachine), so I used a hardware rendering and I could be wrong but you don't seem to get the same kind of lighting as you do from the maya software render, or mental ray.

It's funny I had two versions that conveyed the end differently so when I hear that I could of conveyed the story better I wonder if you would of liked the other version better, but at any rate, great feedback thank you for taking the time!

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# 10 13-11-2009 , 01:22 AM

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CONGRATULATIONS!!! Not only is this your first animation but it's a completed one. That's a big step. And for a first animation, you did great. You tried creating a story to create emotion and one that people could relate to and that's great. A great story with bad animation (not that yours was bad) is usually much much better than a great animation with a bad story.

I can't wait to see your next animation.

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# 11 13-11-2009 , 10:04 AM

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yeah, it's nice to see a completed story here for once!
i thought it was pretty cool and clever
but i didn't actually know there was more to the story than someone getting trapped in an elevator and then it appeared he could only get out by putting on that uniform
i wasn't sure what the uniform was, i thought he became some kind of guard or military orientated person (i was thinking of those people with the tall black fluffy hats in england that arent allowed to smile or talk)
until i read what the others were saying i kind of figured he turned into one of those people that work in a hotel and take your bags that you see on movies and tv.

guess it's because i don't see such people in real life ever that made me not understand the end :p

glad we could be a good help to you though! looking forward to seeing more (do you feel the pressure yet? user added image

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# 12 13-11-2009 , 08:53 PM

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Chrione, Perfecto thank you!

Yeah, I really wanted to be able to start and finish a project . Ive been lurking on these boards for a while, and I see so many great W.I.P.s and then they seem to just disappear. So it was definitely one of my goals, regardless of how bad it may be to just finish the piece.

Chrione, yeah I actually had someone get the same interpretation as you, they said they thought that he turned into a soldier that was then ready to goto battle with the elevator :p

Thanks again for the comments guys, it's great to get feedback from the people that know the kind of work that goes into this stuff so it means the world to me. I'm hoping I can take all this feedback into consideration and make my next short that much better. I'm always open to any suggestions or any help if anyone wants to get on board just send me a p.m.

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# 13 26-06-2010 , 02:30 AM

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Heres my latest, thanks again to this community for bailing me out in some tough spots.

I still gotta a lot to improve on but I guess it's all about taking baby steps and this is the next one. It's a music video for the band The Cryptic Yeast.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KzgE...ayer_embedded#!

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