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Old 13-07-2006, 09:54 AM   #61
gster123
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The Singer Sophie Ellis Bextor had been found murdered in a Paris apartment, she apprantly had been headbutted to death, the police have just confirmed that it was "Murder on Zidane's floor"
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Old 26-07-2006, 12:17 PM   #62
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this thread is old but it sure rocks lol
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Old 26-07-2006, 01:57 PM   #63
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then post us some of your jokes...
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Old 26-07-2006, 10:28 PM   #64
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jo people... don't let this thread die again...... we're here to amuse the crowd.. so i shouldn't be the only one posting stuff....

Ok... just for the fun of it... another one by me :

THE GOOD-BYE LETTER

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad." With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

"Dear Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. But it's not only the passion... Dad she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't, really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love, your son, John.

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.





( if it's over the top... let me know)
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Old 26-07-2006, 10:34 PM   #65
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im sorry man, but that's not funny... however, it does make you think
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Old 26-07-2006, 10:34 PM   #66
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haha nice one
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Old 26-07-2006, 10:43 PM   #67
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HAHAHA!!!:lmao:
That was funny!
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Old 26-07-2006, 11:05 PM   #68
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i know it's funny... but u also have to bring in some laughs......
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Old 26-07-2006, 11:28 PM   #69
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this one left me thinking and a few chuckles. but i liked it.
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Old 27-07-2006, 12:12 AM   #70
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Okay, here's one

A man went out to get the mail, when he saw the neighbour getting out of his
car which had gotten several impact marks on it.
What have happend to your car? The man asked.
Well, I drove down an old lady... The neighbour answered.
Oh, too bad. But what about all the leaves and dirt on there?
She tried to escape into the woods...
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Old 27-07-2006, 01:06 AM   #71
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ROFL :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
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Old 27-07-2006, 04:32 PM   #72
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heres anothe one from me
but u need to read it out aloud to understand it

what do u call a russian with 3 balls?
whodyanickabollockoff


heres another
what do u call a woman playing pool while balancing a pint on her head?
Beartic potter


SilverBlood - 2 good ones there
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Old 28-07-2006, 10:08 PM   #73
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i got a blonde joke.

here it is

Two blondes walk into walmart. you think one of them would see it.

not the best but o well
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Old 28-07-2006, 10:54 PM   #74
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2 blonde jokes.

***

have you heard of the blonde who sold her house to pay the rent.

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what do you call when a blond blows into another blondes ear. Brain Transfer
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Old 31-07-2006, 06:05 PM   #75
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From here:

http://www.astro.umd.edu/~avondale/e...sEthernet.html

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Why the Ethernet (Internet, Bitnet, etc..) Is Like a Penis

It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's up, but it makes it hard to get any real work done.

In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it for fun most of the time.

It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it will just do the same damn dumb things it did before.

It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take this interaction very seriously, others treat it as a lark. Sometimes it's hard to tell what kind of person you're dealing with until it's too late.

If you don't apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread viruses.

It has no brain of its own. Instead, it uses yours. If you use it too much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.

We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant.

If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble.

It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, it will warp your behavior. Later you may ask yourself, "Why on earth did I do that?"

Some folks have it, some don't.

Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off. They think that those who don't have it are somehow inferior. They think it gives them power. They are wrong.

Those who don't have it may agree that it's a nifty toy, but think it's not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. Still, many of those who don't have it would like to try it.

Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop. Some people would just play with it all day if they didn't have work to do.
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