it's ok, the thing you should realise about this board is that there are a ( i think it's fair to say) a lot of noobs on this board. So thay may have a look at your thread but not feel able to answer the question posed. They come to this board for exactly the reason you said it's a close knit family that is pretty easy going on the newer members (unless you get me on a bad day! :p)
I try to answer as many as possible but there's only so much I can do (and I dont always have the answer). The other thing you can do is post the question in the maya basics and newbie forum as it is more heavily used than this one. But dont double post
I know what you mean about the humour, it can come across as rude if people dont take it as you meant it.
Anyways no harm done
Ps I only took so long to answer as it was the weekend and I didnt get to check the forum!
Technical Director - Framestore
Currently working on: Your Highness