post the reflectivity map your using.
dont use jpg for texturing use tga.
Chances are your using a reflectivity map which uses too broad a range of values, for soft reflections on somthing like your talking about the values shouldnt go pass a 0.2 luminance. You probably want to blur the reflections as well.
remember reflectivity and is a multiplier of specular so you can get most the control you will need just from that.
this is what i got in a few mins without texturing the reflectivity channel.