storytelling animation called "man versus beast"

# 1 22-06-2007 , 05:33 PM

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Location: cleveland ohio

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man versus beast

hello,
I finished another animation that I'm gonna try to send to festivals. I've never done that before but after doing about 2 dozen of these animations I thought I'd try it out and see how it goes. anybody here have any experience on those film festivals would be interesting to know. I quickly searched online and the kalamazoo or the ottawa festivals seem pretty interesting to submit too.

anyways, hope you guys like it:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=c3aVhmBR6N4

I used maya for only one shot in the end. and you might wanna fullscreen it might be hard to read the words in the begining of the story.

comments +crits appreciated.
thanks

-Dan user added image

Last edited by danotronXX; 23-06-2007 at 07:17 AM.

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# 2 22-06-2007 , 07:48 PM

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Join Date: May 2005

Location: Manchester Uk

Posts: 6,300

Hey Man

Looked good, enjoyed it. bit of crit though.

For me there should have been some emotional interplay before he fights the beast, its almost like he's crying because he's killed an animal, not his beloved pet. Also I feel that there should have been more with the deamon that curses the wolf (as he's the bad guy really)

Also you've got the guy having a spritual attachment to the animals (as they help him out traveling) but theres no interplay with that before he leaps off a cliff and gets carried by the eagle which is a bit confusing.

I think that adding a few scenes to what youve got to bring more to the story and fill the gaps would realy lift the whole animation.

"No pressure, no diamonds" Thomas Carlyle

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# 3 23-06-2007 , 07:15 AM

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yea good points.
I felt iffy with the crying part also thinking maybe a lot of people might not get it too well so I tried to figure out how could I make the attachment more clear and stronger in the beginning. But since I was so restrained on how fast the song went I was limited to a certain number of shots I could place.
yea and It is sort of confusing how he has this connection with the animals out of the blue. maybe in the intro I should of added something like "he has special powers with animals" or something.

tks for the crits,

-Dan

Last edited by danotronXX; 23-06-2007 at 07:18 AM.

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# 4 23-06-2007 , 07:41 AM

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oh and one other point, would the ending have been better if the tear drop brought the wolf back to life and cleaned the curse from him?
or would that be confusing and I should just let it be how it is.

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# 5 23-06-2007 , 09:33 AM

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***** spoilers (if you not seen it yet - go on its worth a look *****

to be deadly honest with you mate - remove the whole running to fight the wolf scene. - its not working and is not needed.

reasons

1) You mean to tell me a wolf climbed 3 or 4 mountains and swam over the sea just to attack a village and then went all the way back to wait to fight his former friend.

2) The waving animals makes it look like VERY cheap

3) just showing the guy walking though some trees then up the side of the mountain would have the same effect - with out the animal cheese.

4) This will leave more time for the final fight which is over in 3 moves - slap slap headlock - what a waist of a build up

the training montage is a little cheese (but likable cheese) but again very short

why is he riding a horse with the spear up - he cant see the wolf, hes not attacking anyone and then chuck it away ??? - might be useful in a fight don`t you think.

wolves like dogs only live 12 - 16 years so the text may need changing and are fully grown by the age of 1 so him having him for 13 years was it is a bit long

Originally posted by danotronXX
I felt iffy with the crying part also thinking maybe a lot of people might not get it too well so I tried to figure out how could I make the attachment more clear and stronger in the beginning.

Originally Posted by

to fix this let the guy give him a necklace or something around his neck (does not have to be large) which he can pickup before he starts crying.

the other thing is the music (i know it from some where) - do you have permission to use the music (its bond to be copyrighted) as no festival will play it without written permission. As for the length you can always do a few tricks with it to make it longer. You should always work the other way round to start with (animation then music)

Don`t get me wrong overall I liked it. I loved the intro and the attack on the village but it goes down hill from there. The ending needs some work and I`m not down with waving forest animals EVER.

sorry for going on but I think it could be great just I feel its not there yet.

--- edit ----

Oh and plz don`t bring the wolf back/change him to good again, - it will spoil the ending.

Last edited by tweetytunes; 23-06-2007 at 09:55 AM.

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man versus beast

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